News that affects you...Somehow...

January 14th - 2004 Time for the yearly update, enjoy some BRAND SPANKING NEW PIGEON PORN. and when i say spanking, i mean, that's what you'll be doing while viewing it... Enjoy!

October 24th - 2003 GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Jan 6 - 2003 It's been a while hmm??, well if you've lost us, just look for "pationate kiss on the head of a pink member" to find us.

Nov 12 - 2001 There was this roo around, so i set up a page for people to download it from, its cool.. www.kernelpanick.net/roo.php its not often you see one of these going along the road. but. then again it is not often that you drive on the wrong side of the road when you live in canada... okay okay, my brother took the footage.

Sept 22 - 2001 I had a bunch of relatives over at my house today. And they talk about things and forget alot of things, normal conversations usually end up taking 3X as long as a normal one, so i thought of ways to pass the time. they want to know your paying attention, so drawing is not an option. Turns out all old people seem to have these dots on them. Little liver spots. They are great, you can first try to count them, the problem with this is it is like counting sheep and will make you fall asleep. But they also make patterns like you are watching clouds, ohhh look, its an elephant, oh wow, his left hand looks like it has 3 eyes with lips. You laugh to youself at how funny it would be to get old and talk to people with your liverspotted hand. The old people visting think you are laughing at their jokes, and think you are fun to hang around, too bad you are ALWAYS BUSY!!!! But being old can be fun people will ignore things you do because they think you are eccentric, and well, you probably already are. I see old people pick their nose and stuff in public, and thats why they do it, you dont know me, and theres no chance i will ever work for, with you again, i will die soon, so, i am going to pick my nose, and you can watch as i make myself a tasty meal!

I am looking forward to getting old, maybe i will have a wife and we can play spot the spots, but i doubt we will remember where the old ones are, it makes the game alot harder to play but is more interesting. Maybe we can make spots on ourselves, and spot the not-spot! that would be an interesting game too!

Sept 05 - 2001 I have gotten alot of emails from people complaining that they are a minority, and want to pick up the opposite sex. Lets stop the racism, air conditioners are people too.

July 29 - 2001 I have been busy, and, i was un the UK for a while, i will have things from that soon, and now, posing acrobatic porn star dog, simon! that is comming soon on this site... other than that, i am open to suggestions.

June 24 - 2001 Kiddie pools have really changed, someone that lives near me next door to the packrats has this amazing kiddie pool. I wish i had something like that when i was a kid. I would sit in there and sip my juice box reclined, and nude forever. Perhaps get a decent buisness suit, and sit in it reading the paper and drinking coffee. All i got was a little kiddy pool, 3 inches deep, 3 feet wide. Maybe thats my fantasy, but, we all have our own little Wierd fantasys

May 21 - 2001 I got keyboard porn up now.... its rather kinky... i suprise myself sometimes. Like the day i thought i had lots of friends, and really i have no friends at all. I now use this to my advantage, because i hate no friends i have lots of time to sit here and plot to take over things, cause untimely things to happen to people. Sometimes i take my anger out on random objects Or come up with amazing magazine ideas! or TV show ideas, or wierd food mixtures

May 17 - 2001 I was sleeping this morning, and at 10:30AM, some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and woke me up! They gave me some free magazines, i wanted them just so i can go harass people i dont like with a legitimate reason... He accidently gave me two... so if i get a friend to go back in like 10 mins.... If someone causes you to get angry, then you can really annoy someone! i should have asked for a stack to give to all my friends, because witnessing Jehova is the best religon! So i went back to sleep, woke up, took my medicine, and was on my way for the day.

May 16 - 2001 Well instead of sitting around and Picking my nose. I actually got some stuff here done.. I think the help of various cough suppressants has helped keep me awake. Or maybe i just have time on my hands to do stuff. I'm guessing i wont be able to keep this site totally borderline pg rated.. so its now 14A for Common referenaces to intercourse. Also, i'm pondering some ways on how murder small pests around...

May 04 - 2001 I am assembling this site.... maybe it will be the porn of the future... sadly.. this will be just borderline 6 year old appropriate, they wont understand it, but they can look at it... this way it wont get banned from everything.. and you can view it when you are pretending to work..... Well until i get something decent. like keyboards engaged in forbidden acts! and loveseats, taking their love to a new level, you can go Play with your sperm. But anyways, this will be enjoyable some day my friends... some day... Maybe i should just leave this site like this and put PayPal icon on, and say "help me, i need money to get this site going, if you help me get my site going, i will update it everyday, i need 100,000$ to do this, so please. be generous, if only 1000 people donate 100$, then it will work out! or if 100 people donate 1000$..."